Britishness.

Last Friday a fairly minor incident occurred on the tube that got me thinking. There was a guy sitting down as I got on who was asking everyone around him what they were doing with their evenings. When he asked me, I first assumed he was talking to someone else, his mate next to him or something... and so I ignored him. Then once I realised, we had a short conversation about what we were both doing. Then he moved onto the girl standing next to me. Her reaction was interesting because it was exactly the one I was expecting, and don't blame her for - it was the 'look-away-and-pretend-you-don't-hear-as-this-guy's-probably-drunk' response. The guy tried twice and then gave up, and then got off at the next stop, stopping to say something to a guy the other side of the carriage who he'd obviously had a conversation with earlier.

What's the point of this story? Well, firstly, I have no idea whether or not the guy was in fact drunk, but he wasn't slurring his words or staggering or anything like that. In fact, the only sign that he may have been drunk was that he was trying to engage strangers in conversation. And yet, both me and the other girl both instinctively jumped to that conclusion. Why does this kind of attitude increasingly seem to be the case?

This situation would usually be worse, as if I hadn't been walking back to the station with another person, I'd usually be listening to my iPod, and would have been completely unaware that this guy had even tried to talk to me. The reality is that I hate the tube - I feel immediately hated if I have a conversation on it, let alone talk on the phone. But I'm usually contributing to this general atmosphere myself.

I don't believe this attitude stops at the tube, either. There's a general idea in our culture that you can't talk to strangers unless you a) want something, or b) are too drunk to realise what you're doing. Perhaps this is why clubs are pretty much the only place people go out to nowadays, because it's commonly accepted that most people there will fall into both of the above. But it's sad when genuine friendliness is immediately assumed to fall under those categories, just because they are the norm.

There's also the whole fear thing. And this is real - for example, in Bristol, we had a resident 'Bristol Groper' who was targetting girls in an area close to the uni campus late at night - meaning no girl could really walk home on her own. But, while I'm not condoning recklessness, I don't think we should forgo friendliness or avoid strangers due to a few obviously extreme individuals. The majority of people are nice - you probably think all your friends are, and yet, they are all strangers to someone else!

There are some parts of modern culture that do combat this mentality a bit, but at the same time they are still infected by it. For example, flash-mobbing - a brilliant experimental social idea showing the power of the internet come to real life - whilst involving lots of strangers coming together for a common purpose, doesn't actually involve any meaningful social interaction between the participants. that's partially the point - in Bristol we did a flashmob freeze in the main shopping centre (Cabot Circus), where on a cue everyone froze, until 5 minutes afterwards, when everyone moved on again and faded into the crowd. But this kind of exercise does nothing to form any links with others.

Like I said at the start, I'm part of the problem on the tube, and probably in general as well. And this list is about doing things I wouldn't usually, to change and better myself, and generally live. So I want to put something that will challenge ME to do something that gets me out and meeting strangers. And if possible, encourage others to do the same. So although this isn't specifically an item yet, I'm open to suggestions, as this is a work in progress.


I realise I never explained the title. I think this attitude, whilst it may not be unique to Britain, is certainly a symptom of Britishness. And actually, I think it's probably one of our worst qualities - I think we have plenty as Brits to be thankful for, and proud about, but this isn't one of them!


[End of Rant!]